As I sit here facing the sea, it soothes me, gives me peace, and all my burden goes light.
But this feeling isn’t new, I have had this feeling before, 3 years ago.
All the memories are still fresh like it all just happened yesterday.
The smell of her still lingers on me.
3 years ago:
It might seem morbid for a guy to be uninterested going to a bar to get a beer, but that night I didn’t really want to go out. But my naive friends wanted me to keep them company. Well, so we compromised and um I went.
It was a usual Saturday night. People coming to bust their stress, party hard, etc etc.
I could see people dancing on the floor, teens gulping down shots like there is milk filled in it and not tequila.
I saw a short guy beside me talking to a bottle of VAT 69 and my conscience made an agreement with my mind that I wouldn’t get drunk ever, at least not for becoming an entertainment item for people around.
And then after a few minutes of boredom, my eyeballs started searching something interesting as my so called “friends” were too busy drinking. From a distance and in the shadow of the blue-red-green lights, I spotted a woman-like creature on the other side of the bar.
Hair of medium length, a plain metal-black dress that covered her till her thighs, and black stilettos is what would define her physical appearance that moment. Well, definitely not the brightest gem in the jewelry shop but something about her seemed to attract me making me want to go talk to her.
Initiating a conversation with a girl has always been one of the monumental tasks I have had. But, well I decided to pick up and pull all the pieces of courage together and walk towards her. Soon I reached there, settled on a chair beside her and said:
“Hi!” trying to be as confident as I could.
“Hey” she said deadpanned.
“I am George”
“Nice to meet you, Alice”
“I wish I could tell the same about you!”
Oh boy! What is it about her that makes her so rude? I said to myself.
And that about exhausted the whole conversation. To say that I had high expectation from that girl would be to underestimate the matter dramatically. So I sat there quietly in order to avoid further humiliation.
After a while she spoke “You know what George”
Stunned at what my ears just heard, I said trying to remain calm
“You mind going out on a walk?”
Oh great. First they insult you and then they wish to go out on a walk with you. Women!
“Um- yeah sure!” is all I could manage to speak.
So we made a quick exit from the bar and headed for a quite walk. It was a thin-mooned night and the air outside sat as still and oppressive as the air inside. We took tiny steps along the road, heels not moving much past toes. Walking on a lifeless road with a complete stranger didn’t seem weird to me. Sometimes silence between two people can also be comforting.
“Hey, tell me something” she said, breaking the ice of silence.
“umm-yeah” I replied almost straight-faced.
“Do you ever feel like escaping the present and just disappearing to an unknown world?”
It seemed too secret and personal to admit to a virtual stranger but I told;
“I haven’t really gave a thought to it”
I could see her lips curve into a slight smile as if to say “okay that isn’t too bad”. That sight of her was tempting.
We went to a lake after torturing our legs for almost half a mile. There was always something fascinating about water to me, but I never really bothered to give it a deep thought.
“I love lake side” I said to initiate the Lazarus conversation.
“And the reason would be?” she smirked.
“Because you’re given a large measure of freedom here!” I almost shouted in order to prove my intellectual point I just made.
She almost laughed. We looked at each other and I could feel the intensity of her eyes on me. I tried holding her hand when she opposed and stated;
“Don’t abuse your privileges”
And I assume that was my “dead-end” alert. Gazing-intently-at-the-water-without-saying-a-word pretty much seemed to be our strategy for the night.
Soon we could see darkness fading and sun coming to life. I would hate to bid her farewell but I realized it was time for me to go home.
“I guess it’s time we part” she said getting up.
“Sadly, yes!” I said with a feeling of sigh taking over my voice.
“I will see you around then” she said with a light smile.
Yeah, I knew those words were empty, though a hopeless being inside me still hoped that whatever she said would come true. Finally, we parted waving a good bye till we were out of each other’s sight.
That was, the only sad part about the whole night.
That feeling of peacefulness again made its way inside me.
And I wish she still remembers me like I do.