Splendid Six is a weekly column on College Life of 6 Best Friends by our columnist Asha Kumar. The steadfast pumping of feelings is twenty fourth chapter in weekly column Splendid Six. Have you missed previous Chapters of the column? Click Here to read Previous Chapters.
The steadfast pumping of feelings
After a long span of 8th months, I again got a message on my WhatsApp from an unknown number. The message said “Hi Senorita!” I was like “Who the hell is it?” To which the person replied “Hey its Raj duffer. How are you? How’s life?” I was like “Oh god! Why now? When I was completely over him why did you get him back”. I patiently replied him saying “I am fine. How are you? It was you who got lost. I was always here only. You didn’t reply to my messages. You didn’t answer to any of my calls. You went out to some other hell and now asking about my life. Get lost Raj. I don’t need you and you don’t need me so the matter is shut here. Bye”. He then replied “So much Frustration? Oh God! Calm down. My mobile was lost and now got a new one and with the same number”. I always had true feelings for him. I could forgive him for anything and for everything. My heart was very fragile. It melted as soon as he made stupid excuses. We chatted for few days and again the same pattern followed. He stopped messaging and replying to any of my messages. The frustration level reached heights now. Extreme mood swings, no concentration and insomnia followed this. I was reading books, magazines, writing, singing, sleeping and crying but nothing worked. I now finally made up my mind that whatever he does now I will not fall to his prey again.
On the other side, back in college, relations between me and Pari were getting strained. I found her very carefree attitude annoying at times. I felt that sometimes she crossed her lines while pulling legs. I warned her at times saying “Watch out your attitude. It may sometimes ruin friendships. Everyone may not appreciate it”. I then even try to detach myself from her. I don’t know why but the word “Detachment” was getting into my nerves. I very well knew one thing. The more I try to detach myself from things, the happier I will become. I used to hear the song “Jag Suna Suna Lage. Jag Suna Suna Lage. Koi Rahe na Rahe apna”. The emotional side inside me was overhauling me within. Naina on the other hand was always busy with her mobile. She constantly kept messaging her boyfriend and whenever we asked she just used to give those monotonous answers “It’s my cousin. He is just teasing me”. We thought “Does she think we have donkey’s brains. Nowadays which cousin does have time to talk so much with their siblings?” But we let go thinking that she will talk about it whenever she feels like.
The 7th semester had begun. The toughest phase of my whole engineering life. It began with a good note but ended on a tough note. One fine day I had dressed up in salwaar kameez. I had done the French plates to add to the flavour. The recess bell rang and I walked quickly because I wanted to get something Xerox for the assignment purpose. As I was passing by in tension (as always), the cool breeze blew but still I kept on walking. Suddenly I could feel that someone crossed my path and smiled at me. That smile, I couldn’t forget till date. It was Armaan (the guy who I met in the van). That very smile and his face got into my head. It felt as if he wanted to compliment me and talk to me. I still continued and got my Xerox done and went back to join my friends. That day in lab also I couldn’t forget his face. The way he looked at me and smiled with mischief had touched me somewhere down my heart. There were jingles ringing inside my heart and a natural connection that I ever felt in my life. I stopped for a moment and then pondered “Look Aisha, now no more love and lovey dovey feelings for anyone. You are already done with it. So make sure that you are not in the den once again”. I promised myself not to look at him anymore. I even didn’t know him. I never heard his voice but just saw him, how could I start feeling for him? But as it is truly said that it just takes a small moment to fall in love. Then again I resisted thinking “What the hell am I thinking about?” For the next few days I kept thinking about him only. I kept staring at him whenever I saw him. He was all over my heart and mind. I wrote a small poem for him.
My new love..
Whenever I close my eyes..
I can see your face..
The smile which is sweet as the corn and mild as the wind..
The glow of my face brightens up seeing that smile..
The breeze that touches my heart when you pass by..
The jerks I feel within my heart when you walk by..
The eyes waiting to hold your attention when you look by..
Those beneath feelings are indescribable at times..
I don’t know how to overcome those fears and dreads of loosing you..
I don’t know how to reflect my emotions so it reaches to you..
Time has passed by but not my feelings for you..
It is still steady as the rocks that stand upright for ages..
But I don’t have the strength to propose my dear love to you..
Your sketch is clear as a crystal in my heart..
The more I try to hold you in my dreams, the more you slip away like the sand in existence..
I wish all the joy and prosperity, health and sheath for you..
I have loved you for an eternity and would you love you for such eternities more..
To Be Continued..
What next? Keep eyes on this column, next episode will be published next Thursday.