Crush, Love, Obesession and Guilt

Crush, Love, Obesession and Guilt

3 min

Crush is when you see her face for the first time. Crush is the storm in your heart when she is around. Crush is plucking the courage to talk to her. Crush is the nervousness that you feel when she smiles at you. Crush is trying to impress her by talking loudly when she is near. Crush is talking to her for the first time. Crush is exchanging numbers. Crush is waiting for her to text you. Crush is texting her all the time. Crush is late night calls. Crush is the nervousness you feel when you ask her out. Crush is seeing her dressed up for you. Crush is beautiful. Beautiful is Crush.

Love is observing the way her eyes glimmer when she smiles and knowing that you are the reason behind that smile. Love is offering to pay the bill even though you cannot afford it. Love is the tone of her voice when she laughs loudly. Love is the kajal beneath her eyes. Love is trying to hold her hand. Love is holding her hand. Love is telling your friends about your love. Love is making your friends like your love. Love is not being bothered by the incessant comments your friends pass, when she is around. Love is not caring about the world. Love is that kiss in the rain. Love is long drives. Love is letting her be a DJ of your car and listening only to Arijit Singh. Love is avoiding the popular places in town. Love is watching movies and not following the storyline. Love is She. She is Love.

Obsession is the insecurity you feel when she smiles a lot, when she is with another guy. Obsession is losing interest in what she has to say. Obsession is constant fights and constant make ups. Love is asking her whom she talks with all the time on messengers. Obsession is checking her phone. Obsession is asking for facebook password. Obsession is monitoring her life. Obsession is making her do things according to your wishes. Obsession is making decisions for her. Obsession is putting restrictions on her. Obsession is calling her friends stupid, because they have started knowing your obsession. Obsession is making her lose her personality. Obsession is control. Control is Obsession.

Guilt is understanding your obsession. Guilt is the fact that she understands your obsession. Guilt is also the fact that she realises her value. Guilt is letting her go. Guilt is blaming yourself. Guilt is seeing her happy with someone else. Guilt is calling her to no avail. Guilt is leaving her long messages with no replies. Guilt is fucking up your life for love. Guilt is losing control. Guilt is starting over. Guilt is trying to find her in someone else. Guilt is comparing her with every girl you meet. Guilt is knowing that it will never be so real again. Guilt is Guilt. Guilt is Guilt.

Crush is pure. Obsession is pure. Guilt is pure. Love is madness. Love is the fog on your window which evaporates with the first contact of sunlight (reality).

Smit Desai

Loner, Engineer and Observer.