Those jitters, that excitement, that first moments- sounds familiar? What if you are, but aren’t- the recipient of them? What if you go on dates, but as a third wheel? Yes, my friend, you are in the beginning of the relationship of your best friend.
Here are a few things that might sound familiar to you- do you hear every detail of their meets, right from what they wore to how they ended on her front door? Ugh- about the details that you probably don’t want to imagine? Do you go to shop for gifts when their anniversary comes rolling? Then, my friend- friendationship mein ho tum (friendship + relationship)(a lame term I just made up).
So what do you do when your friend pleads with guilty eyes on cancelling yet another meet? When you are so excited to finally get to shopping with her and you find out that her boyfriend is meeting you guys later? When you cannot watch romantic movies as she sighs and tells you of her boyfriend and how this reminds you of him? Yes, you might want to kill both of them- but what to practically do when your best friend gets into this new relationship?
#01 Go through the five stages of grief
You know, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance? At first, you deny that it is happening to you- after all, they’ve been together for only two months and you guys? 8 years! Next, you’re angry on them for putting you on the back burner- and her new boyfriend- because he stole her from you! Next, you bargain time with her as you force her with guilt trips and things that she cannot resist- next, you’re depressed with a bowl of ice cream and romcom-again- as she experiences real love, you find solace it with your favorite characters! At last, you accept his presence in your life- because really, there is nothing else that you can do now.
#02 Extend a friendly hand.
You know, your best friend is probably worried that you two won’t get along- and what if (gasp!) she has to choose sides? She talks about him to you, and you to him, and takes you on those meets so that she does not have to choose and that you two can get along. So cut her some slack- and try to bond with her boyfriend, after all you have years of joint birthday planning and surprises ahead of you.
#03 Try something new!
Admit it- you love your best friend- but how many times have you held yourself back just because she doesn’t want to do that thing? Go dancing with someone new now. Spend hours watching those sappy/Goth movies. Shop for hours because you never get tired of it! But treat yourself!
#04 Widen your friend circle.
Do not forget her, of course- but stop yourself with constantly calling her. Who will you take to the movies or meets then? Go find some new friends! More friends can never hurt you, and also, who knows, you might find a nice guy among all this?
#05 Be happy.
Accept the fact that you aren’t losing your friend, just because she has someone else now. Do not wish for them to break up or pin it on the guy, but be happy for your friend. Someday she will do the same to you. Meanwhile, being the third wheel has its own benefits- you can wear and eat anything you like on their date! Enjoy! 🙂