Carry On Kesar's Trailer is Out and it is Breaking The Internet!

Being Parents at an Old Age: Why the Stigma?

3 min

In India, where people make it their business to know about everyone else’s business, everything has an “ideal” age. A Criteria, for eligibility. The country is so loaded with expectations, and whatever doesn’t fall into the ideal category, is frowned upon and sometimes even outcast from the society!

Let me clarify something- This is not a rant. But an honest observation at how our system fails to accommodate some really special people, just because they do not fall into the brackets. “Carry on Kesar”, latest Gujarati movie talks about In-vitro fertilization, or what we commonly know as a “test-tube” baby. The parents are 55 and 50 years old! Shocked? So was the society, as they commented with “It is not the age to have children, but grandchildren!” and “Aa ummare kheti karaay, baalako na janaay!”

Unaffected by the taunts, the couple decides to go ahead with their happiness, and have a test-tube baby. What follows next is their amazing journey through discovering things, as they become parents for the first time, after a long time! The movie also tells the story of Annie- or Anahita, a “French Gujju” who made it all possible. The film is all about second chances, and letting the past go- as you take care of yourself first.

It makes you wonder- why this hypocrisy? Why all this poking nose into others’ business, as some are brave enough to take the step that makes themselves happy, and who are you to judge them? As science has advanced, our thinking should too- after all, it was made for us! It is not just about being parents at an old age, but also some other very ridiculous notions that we still hold on of “ideal behaviour”, just because. And what exactly is old age by the way? As long as a couple is willing and fertile, there is no real age of having a baby! No time is so perfect, as now!

According to Mr. Fredrik Ragmark, CEO, Medicover group, “India is a big country with unfortunately lots of unfertile couples; I believe around 30 million and perhaps some 150 thousand of them per annum.” That accounts to 2.5% of our overall population. A research paper on “Assisted reproductive technology in India: A 3 year retrospective data analysis” says that “Assisted reproductive technology (ART) has grown by leaps and bounds in the last few years. India has one of the highest growths in the number of ART centres and the number of ART cycles performed every year. Very soon, India will be the leader in the world of ART in terms of the number of cycles.”

When everyone has so much faith and sees so much potential in India and its future in IVF, it is our own people and mentality which pulls us down. “Carry on Kesar” works as an eye opener to this fact- as you are appalled by the treatment of the society to the couple, and also realise, with regret, on how quick we are to judge, collectively. It is time to change. No time is as perfect, as now.

Heema Joshi

A listener, a learner, an observer. Coffee lover. Renowned for the poor quality of jokes made. A writer.