They say you grow up when you lose friends- but what about when you lose a best friend? Breaking up with friends is hard enough, but your best friend? The one you shared everything with- your late-night confessions, your insecurities about the future, your family problems and issues, and more. The one with whom you envisioned your future with- whether you have a life partner of the opposite sex or not, he/she was always your backup plan! The one who was always there, the one you thought you’d never lose- what happens when you break up with them?
1. Denial
Like the 5 stages of depression, you convince yourself that it isn’t permanent. I mean, you guys have been through so much together- how could this little thing affect you so much? But it could be just the tip of the iceberg- as the bond breaks, you try to convince yourself but fail to pause the drift.
2. Reasoning with yourself
“She’s much better off without me” … “I mean, she has to come back, someday right?”, “We ALWAYS did this thing together, she’ll come back for this” and other such thoughts crowd your mind. You’re still in the denial phase, but you try to be optimistic now instead of realistic, and hope that it is just a temporary thing.
3. Anger
You are so angry at everything- the world, the situation, your best friend, yourself- that this happened. You’re constantly on edge and upset because they’re always on your mind, but the person you came home to and knew exactly how to make you calm is no longer around anymore.
4. Looking for one moment to blame it on
You try to analyze the situation- what caused it? Was it this habit? Or that talk? Or that moment? Because if you can define the cause, you can solve the problem, right?
5. Remembering them at odd moments
You have YOUR moments- so you miss them every time you cross that ice cream truck, or go to the mall, or even go to the school! IPL was your thing, and so was the irritating filler music in the lift!
6. Your parents inquire about them
Because they have been around so much, your parents notice a family member missing and naturally, inquire about why they aren’t anymore. And that’s when you’re short of words.
7. Going through the memorabilia
The mementos, the letters, the flower she once gave you. Your silly photographs, the chats at the end of your notebook, the half-finished scrapbook you were making for them. The perfect birthday gift which she found. Your savings for that saved holiday which you were planning for the future- you wonder what to do with them now.
8. Trying to replace them with someone
“Never mind I’ll find someone like you…” Sometimes you have people eager to take his/her place, sometimes you go out and try to make new friends, hoping to fill the void. But when they do not get the joke or react to the situation exactly as you had imagined them to, you miss your best friend, right?
9. The moments of “never mind”
You try to move on. You constantly tell yourself, “Never mind!” It happens to everyone, right? So why am I making such a big deal out of it? I mean, he/she looks happy without me! I can be the same!
10. Missing the inside talks
When nobody laughs on a random word, when you crack up in the middle of a serious meet because you’re remembering a funny moment, or even as you miss the special vocabulary that her and you developed so painstakingly, you miss the inside talks.
11. Never truly forgetting them
You never truly move on- even as you find someone else, there’ll always be a part of you that’ll remember them at particular times. And although you miss them less and lesser day by day, they never truly leave your heart.
So, if it is possible, apologize. But do not let them go. Because once they leave, they will never come back and you’ll be left with a void that nobody can truly fill. I repeat- do not let your best friend go if you can help it.
